yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
