dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You've changed since you got that strap on
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
