Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize