Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
