I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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