Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
