I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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