I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
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