Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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