I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
