I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
She announced her abortion via fbk
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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