Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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