so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
