HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
