This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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