maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
