im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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