my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
