smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
soo... how was my night?
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