first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
