Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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