It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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