youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
