Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize
