It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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