Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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