I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
