She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
