So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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