He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize