I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
