apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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