what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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