She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you never un-have a 4some
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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