OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
