girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I forget how to act sober
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