I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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