you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
