i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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