Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
