Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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