Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize
