What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
