their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
