I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
