Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
