Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize