I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
