so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
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