that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
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