if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
