It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
