I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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