Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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