just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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