Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
