just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
