It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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