Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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