margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
