4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
