Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
These tits shall not be calmed
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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