shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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