i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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