I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
