Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
